We feel tired, overwhelmed, and confused. We don’t feel seen or heard or engaged. By the time that many of us reach adulthood, we’ve been practicing focusing on the outside world, that we’ve lost touch with our inner world. Add over-identification of any kind and it’s easy to see why we aren’t in touch with ourselves.
The work of Dr. Shefali Tsabary, the author of The Conscious Parent and The Awakened Family, writes about the importance of acknowledging and honoring the true inner beings of our children. Many of us work to do this. But what about those of us that didn’t receive that as children (which, spoiler alert: is almost all of us)? How do we begin to see and connect with our true essence again?
Some of us see it while we’re mothering young children. Others see it when they’re working endlessly in the depths of the corporate world. Others don’t realize they’ve lost themselves until they’re staring at the empty places at the table that their friends and family used to sit. Despite when the desire to get to know yourself arises, it is not too late for anyone.
You are not lost. You do not need finding. You need to be re-introduced to yourself and the space and time to nourish your relationship with yourself. Invest and reap the rewards.
Women want to share their story and they need to feel heard and validated while doing so. We need variation of choice and support in those choices. We need community and connection with other people who can hold space. The voices and stories of women need to be represented in societal scripts and models. For these things to come to pass, we need to connect with ourselves. Re-discover our truths, tell our stories, anchor in our inherent worth and knowing. Connect through our separateness. Share. Open. Become soft. Shed belief systems and patterns that do not serve us. Acknowledge and honor that we always have the capacity to choose. In strengthening our connection to ourselves, we will be able to be grounded in our truth in a way that allows us to show up in confidence and humility. To grow and elevate ourselves as individuals, strengthen our communities, and better our world.
The first step to re-establishing connection to ourselves is to get quiet. Find stillness. Embrace your beingness (rather than doingness). This doesn’t need to look any particular way. Making space for being may be difficult or uncomfortable. Just be. What do you notice?
Be the observer. Practice non-attachment.
Notice where the feeling of all-knowing resides. Ask questions. Be open to answers.
Spend time with yourself. Practice asking yourself the questions: what am I struggling with? What do I need? What do I want? What does my deeper self desire? How can I care for myself?
Whose life is this anyway? Isn’t it yours? You are the curator. You get to show up in any way that you desire. So what do you desire?
Once you’ve figured out what you want from the depths of your deeper self, confidence will follow. There is a surety - an all-knowing right-ness when our decisions are made from within. Trust follows because it is undeniably true. When self-doubt shows up, it’s a signal to tune-in to yourself. Re-calibrate.
You’re not lost, you’re right here. Say hi.