How to Know What You Want - Part III
Updated: Jan 29, 2020
As I wrote in How to Know What You Want - Part I and Part II we have been disconnected from what we want. We were conditioned to be compliant and fit into social reasons that both benefit us and have caused us harm. Because of this, many of us get to adulthood without a clear idea of who we are or what we want. It is our turn to take back the power of our true desires.
Make sure to read How to Know What You Want - Part I and Part II before you read this post. Here, we dive deeper. I've shared practical tips up until now. I'm about to get a whole lot more 'woo woo' up in here. This is where practical meets spiritual and is essential to knowing what you want.
We've talked a lot about conditioning. But who are you without it? What were you without all of life's experiences? Pretending that we could wipe it all away, what would be left?
Your innate self.
It's still within you and is what's left when you strip all of your conditioning away. Call it what you want: soul, spirit, energy, gut feeling, inner knowing, intuition, etc., in most contexts, they all are referring to the essence of who you are. The 'what' that separates you from your body, your thoughts, your feelings, and your experiences.
Getting in touch with your innate self necessitates somatic awareness. Because we're out of practice listening to what we want, we need to bring our awareness back to it. This knowing lies within our bodies.
Think back to a time when you had a 'gut reaction'. Breathe into that space and send your awareness there. Take time to notice how it feels. You can even ask that space simple questions and feel for the answer.
Don't worry if this feels strange or is challenging - it was most definitely both of those things for me when I started accessing it. Here are some practices that helped me ease into feeling from that space again:
ask it simple questions like what to eat for breakfast, what to wear that day, or what route to take home from work. Go with your very first gut/heart reaction. The outcome doesn't matter - it's the practicing of accessing it that does. Once you acknowledge it and ask it's opinion, the more often it'll speak up. Think of it like strengthening a muscle. You've got to start with one push-up before you can do 50. (I also love to hear what random things my inner knowing chooses - it continuously surprises me!)
write to it. Okay, this one felt super wonky at first. As a journal-er I felt naturally inclined to write, but the act of writing dialogue between myself and myself felt really weird. It helped me to label my questions (mind) as me and my responses (gut feeling) as inner knowing. I started by writing a simple question at the top of my paper, feeling into the response, and freely writing the response as it came. I continue the back-and-forth until I feel satisfied with where I've landed or when answers are no longer coming.
check in with it regularly. Notice when you're in your mind (conditioning) and redirect your attention to your gut/heart space (inner knowing). Check in with yourself. Become aware of how you're feeling. Ask yourself questions like: how are you? what is it that you need? and, you guessed it, what is it that you want?
It takes commitment to know all the intricacies of you. When you take the time to look at who you are and spend time with that person, you are prioritizing the biggest game changer of your life - you.
You are the curator of your own life. To create a life that you're proud of, you must first know what it is that you want. These self-awareness practices will breed self-love and the understanding that you are worthy of intentional living.
Which you are.
Want help figuring out what you want?
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